No Ventilator, thank you.

 I've decided to add a letter with my will which states No Intubation should I become critically ill. I don't want to be put on a ventilator under any circumstances. My one and only endoscopy put paid to that idea. In spite of the sedation, I woke up as they were pulling out the tube. A nightmare for me.

With regard to Covid19, I'm in the vulnerable category age wise, so there's no telling how I might react to contracting the virus. My pneumonia vaccine knocked me for six for at least a week but I'm very glad I had it to reduce risk. 

My fear of any invasive procedure includes the nasal and throat test. I guess it stems from being highly sensitive to discomfort and the loss of control of over my own body. 

Being hooked up to a machine for the sake of a few more months of life isn't worth it. Survival for patients on ventilators is under 20% according to one report. Any treatment for the sake of it, which reduces quality of life isn't my idea of living. I might survive but what would the future look like? A long, uphill battle to recovery. Worry for my family? As for the loss of dignity... no thanks. Give my ventilator to a younger person who would get a decent shot at life with some quality. 

Who knows, they might go on to do great things with a second chance.